We all say we want to change. The fact is so many of us do not understand what change really is. Before we can begin to understand it we must first accept that change is not a singular event in life but a process.

When the idea that we need to make changes first occurs to us, it is certainly not an action but a thought. It is the tip of the beginning phase of what the actual process really is. We first have to come to terms with the fact that we do not like something about ourselves that we never even looked at before. Life was blurred around like or dislike of self; now it is more finely defined. "I do not like who I am" sticks out at us with great distaste. What once was just a little pin prick is now becoming a bloody mess!

We need to take control of our life rather than let it rule our sense of self. This is always difficult to understand. We need to be able to see who we have been in relation to others as a place of understanding rather than one of punishment. How hard we can be on ourselves when we think we have been bad! We all find this difficult to accept in the beginning of change. We really want to deny that there was anything wrong in the first place, but we have run out of excuses.